Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom pt. 3

This is the third installment of how I unintentionally (at first) became a mom to seven beautiful souls. 

Part 1.

Part 2.

This Tale is not a conversion story precisely, but the story of how and why we became a Catholic family is the catalyst for everything good, holy and true that we have done since. The growth of our family is definitely in that category!  This is just a brief retelling of the amazing things God did for our family that summer the twins were born.

{Jake, me, Ryan at about 20 weeks with twins}

Our new neighbors Mike and Kathy K. were so nice, but so       Catholic!

And talkative.

Many times I'd look out the window before going to get the mail or water the flowers to make sure Mike wasn't outside also.  Sometimes he's just chat and wave, but sometimes he's ask me some pretty uncomfortable questions like "So, do you believe that you can lose your salvation?"

Folks, I was heavily pregnant (I mean HEAVILY!) and I just couldn't deal with this pesky guy and his questions. These were not discussions I wanted to have. I just wanted to get my mail!

I pushed Lee to run interference. Lee is such an open person.  He is a genuine seeker and had no preconceptions about the Catholic Church really. He loved talking with Mike. Honestly, I just tried hard to ignore them both and waited for my babies to be born.

{in the nursery at about 31 weeks}

Just after the twins were born we were at a crossroads in our small group. Several discussions had broken out during our spring Bible study about free will, sin, predestination, holiness and so on. This uneasiness brewing in our group worsened and made me queasy. I thought it was just me being anxious and pregnant, but even after the babies were born the rift in our small group was growing and it was not just our family feeling that.

The church we belonged to, encouraged the small groups to split and re-form and thus to grow after about 18 months to two years. The summer after the twins were born (6/15/02) our group met just a handful of times and then disbanded.

During that summer, Lee had begun to read the pamphlets and books Mike K. had been passing on to him. I would glance at them from time to time, but I tried to ignore them mostly. Then, Lee began to discuss things with me directly. The things we talked about intrigued me, but I knew there must be a catch because I had been raised Catholic and never heard most of this stuff. It was very uncomfortable and humbling to dig around into our faith history and realize I was so ignorant

Finally, I headed to the library for myself. I needed a book I could read and explain all this crazy, silly, Catholic stuff to Lee once and for all from a former insider's perspective. I selected Why Do Catholics Do That? It looked to be a straightforward, thorough, historical account of  well, why do Catholics do all the stuff they do!

{we went to Disney World when the twins were four months-it wasn't actually as nuts as it sounds! We used points from Lee's work travelling and we had a great trip!}

I was blown away. I just love history. I have a BSed in history, but I'd truly never dug into Christian history. It was both fascinating and frightening.

I realized with growing horror that God was calling me to become Catholic! In fact, I vividly remember running up the stairs one evening and finding Lee in our bedroom.

"Honey, I think we're gonna have to become Catholic!" I shrieked.

He was was sitting calmly on the bed reading something and he glanced up at me, "I know. That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

So we made our way into the Church. Many friends were surprised, and alienated also. Family members were happy, shocked and disturbed. This was all around the time the scandals in Boston were all over the news.

Finally though we were home and you know, despite the varied reactions and disruptions, I truly felt at peace again. A peace I hadn't experienced in many years. There are more things to say about this conversion, the foray into RCIA for Lee, trying to attend mass the first few times with the four kids (4 and under), trying to meet other Catholics who were as hyped up for their faith as we were and so on. Maybe someday I can write down those experiences too.

But, back to our kiddos....

Although I entered the Church in solid faith and with full knowledge and total acceptance of Her teachings, even the teachings on sexuality, I had a small secret in my heart.

I was very, very glad I had already had my tubes tied before I came back to the Church.

Baby Steps

I am not a big Lent fan. I know many people who look forward to Lent as a time of spiritual growth and internal cleansing or whatnot, but I approach it with apprehension. I am faithful and dutiful, and simply, well resigned. 

{http://cartoonsbyjim.com/?sid=76}

Lee is almost gleeful about it. He is so much more generous in spirit about most things than I. He just loves a grand big gesture. More and more I am recognizing the Gollum in me and it seems that every sacrifice and surrender to God's will is just.so.hard. 

Thankfully most Lenten seasons since we returned to the Church have been joyful and incredibly rewarding despite my persistent grumpiness about the whole thing. 

This year I set my mind to have a Productive Lent. I made printouts for all of us, encouraged us to add prayers and so on and not just have sacrifices. The kids blew me away with their big plans. I'm talking big sacrifices and detailed prayer commitments. I mentally shrugged and let them write their promises down in their own folders. Who am I to say well it's a little much don't you think? 

My cynicism was not rewarded because they all followed through for the most part, and I witnessed the struggle they had to maintain their commitments. Very, very humbling is the faith and love of my dear children. 

I guess I could say that I kept my commitments too, but honestly it's not that big of a deal. I always make the slightest of promises and commitments, ones that are challenging enough so that I can keep my head up when I happen to be asked, "what did you give up?"  But not so challenging that I might actually, um, fail. 

One of the things I committed to was a certain amount of spiritual reading. First up on the docket was Happy Are You Poor by Fr. Thomas Dubay.

I was able to get it for my Kindle. So Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, you know? Well, I finished that little book before First Sunday of Lent. It was that absorbing to me. Then, I got Lee to read it and he also finished quickly.  By the time he finished, Lent had barely begun and all of my gentle, staid little Lenten commitments had been turned upside down. 

The Holy Spirit just swooped in and gave me a big shake (and then a big hug too I must add). This read has been an answer to our prayers and a wonderful guide of that infernal question we have had in our family for the last few years, "what next? where is God leading our family?" 

We have been praying this intermittently since just before I became pregnant with Josephine. Does this question lurk and linger in every household? Is it just ours? 

There have been times of clear purpose and direction for us, but also times of fog and deep restlessness and while the gift of Josephine has illuminated the path for a time, it was beginning to get dim again. 

And then we read this book!

I hope to elaborate more but for now, our baby step has been to put the house for sale and to begin saving for the purpose of buying a new home, with some land and buying it outright and not having a mortgage at all. 

I must also share that I found the awesome blog House Unseen not too long after we made this decision and we feel that the Borobia's example has been a real sign to us of God's direction for our family. 

Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom pt. 2

This is part the second of how I unintentionally ended up with seven kids. To start at the very beginning (a very good place to start- I have to sing that in my Maria vonTrapp voice, do you? ) click here.

Pt.2

So there I was at the ripe old age of 27 having decided that 4 kids for me was quite enough thankyouverymuch. I did have 4 kids under the age of 4 though so it's not like I was slacking.

We had married in the Episcopal church and we ended up having our kids baptized, but we never became members and just before I became pregnant with the twins, we joined a new church that was non-denominational.

The pastor there is an incredible speaker. He is known worldwide and has several books and can be seen on television. Today this church has several campuses where they holographic-ally project him as he gives his sermons. Maybe this is an urban legend, but a friend of a friend tells of one woman who attended a satellite campus for a few weeks before realizing that it wasn't actually him up there on the stage.

When we attended about 10-11 years ago they were just getting started, and by this I mean there was one campus and they only has about 3-4,000 families. So to get people connected, the church sponsored small groups and we joined one to meet some couples we could get together with and discuss our faith and become friends. It really is a great idea and we met some wonderful families.

Our group had about 5 couples and we were all roughly the same age and had small kids. We had just moved to a beautiful, large McMansion home when I was pregnant and so we became the weekly hosts. We would choose a book and we'd all read it and discuss it. We also had a babysitter come and watch the kids and everyone would bring some food for dinner.

It was really great y'all. We'd pray for each other and support each other. I think this is a great model that many Catholic Churches could benefit from.

Anyway, one day after we'd had our group over the night before, I was talking with one of our new neighbors, Mike K. He and his wife were empty nesters and just real friendly. Somehow the topic of what all those people were doing over came up and how they were from our church and all.

And then somehow it came up that I was a lasped Catholic.

And then somehow it came out that Mike K. was a practicing and devout Catholic.

And soon we learned that he was also an amateur Catholic apologist...

{PHFR} + Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom

Well the charger to my fancy camera is still missing. In fact, I think I might have accidentally put it in the Goodwill bin when I was cleaning out my desk. I feel pretty bad about it, but my mom can do one better, she accidentally put our family heirloom handmade baptismal gown in the Goodwill bag when they were moving.

I know!

But after a good cry we were over it and we do have another gown because we needed one when we had the twins baptized, so I just told her we have a new family heirloom now...but I digress.

Also my phone isn't syncing so I can't post any new pictures and therefore I have been inspired to do something a little different today!

I can't tell you how many times I get comments on our family size and how close together in age they all seem.

Truly y'all, all.the.time.

These days the questions don't phase me much. In fact seven kids seems like hardly any kids on some days...except on days when it feels like hundreds!

The real true life story of how we, who never intended to have a 'big' family ended up with seven (so far) blessings is pretty amazing, but also kind of long so I don't really go into detail when folks make those charming little comments...

I would like to tell you though, dear blogosphere.  We always seem to have plenty of time, don't we?

Here goes:

We married on June 14th 1997. I was 22 and my groom was 23. Weren't we adorable little babies?!

{pretty, pretty young!}

I was raised Catholic, Lee agnostic-ish and we ended up getting married in the Episcopal Church because that's where my Mom ended up. I didn't really care and neither did he and my mom did, so that's what happened. 

We knew we wanted to be parents soon. For some paranoid reason I was totally convinced we would have trouble conceiving so of course I became pregnant after we'd been married five months. 

Jake was a darling, easy baby and we thought, hey let's have another! Jake and Ryan are 14 months apart and are best friends.  

When Ryan was nearing two we really wanted to complete our family. You see, when we married I said I wanted 4 kids and Lee said 2 kids, so 3 kids was our compromise.

So cute, so super cute and dumb we were. 

{happy no.1 and no.2}

Imagine then, our shock when the doctor saw Baby A and Baby B on the ultrasound!

Yes, I did think "Ha! I win! I win" :)

Plus Baby B was a girl so that was pretty awesome.

{Ha ha! Twins! Funny!}

And then? Well, I am not one of those ladies that just loooooooves to be pregnant. In fact, I loathe it. I always have morning sickness, terrible, dehydrating sickness that can tend to make me depressed. The twin pregnancy did me in y'all. I was miserable at the end. I had been on bedrest for about 4 weeks with toddler boys at home.

But, even before the very end, we had decided that this pregnancy was it. We were done with four and very happy and thankful. So, when the delivery ended up in a c-section the doctor went ahead and did what I had very explicitly and repeatedly asked him to do over the last nine months. He cut and cauterized my fallopian tubes. 

Yes. I had my tubes tied when I was 27. 

{real, 4 is enough}

Thanks be to God there is more to this story. Much much more, so stay tuned!

Weddings make me cry

We watched The Office last night on Hulu, the episode(s) where Jim and Pam get married. {We don't watch much TV, but there are a couple of shows we like. On Hulu we can watch them whenever we want! And it's free!} It was hysterical yes, but it also made me tear up.

Weddings always make me think about my own wedding and marriage. I get all nostaligic and shocked that it's been 5, 10, now 12 years since we were married. I am asked often if I ever thought we'd have this kind of family, this many kids, the homeschooling etc...The answer is NOPE!

But God's plan, it turned out, was waaaaaaay better than my plan.

So much to write about....

Last week we celebrated two wonderful milestones in the Cullom home. June 14th was our 10 year anniversary. I remember writing last year about our 9th and then I blinked and here we are at 10!

We are actually going away this weekend on a secret trip that Lee has planned. I have no idea where we will be. My sis and brother in law are staying here (God bless them!) to be with the kids.

June 15th was Luke and Laine's 5th birthday. Shocking, I know! I will put on a few pics of then and now. Quite a change in my little twinkles.

Also, over the past month or so I have been having an interesting email conversation with my best friend about Catholicism. It has been good for both of us I think. She is Baptist and was pretty stunned when Lee became Catholic and I came back to the Church after being very involved in a non-denominational church. Over the years we have discussed it a bit, but it is hard because passions are high and we value our friendship so much that neither of us wants to alienate the other. Email seems to work well for clarifying without hurting feelings. These conversations have been enlightening and I am trying to decide on a way to share them here. I'll keep you posted if I do this. I need to talk it over with her and see if she is ok with that.

Consequences

I just heard a wonderful thing. Remember back in April when Lee and I worked on the Holy Week Missions? It was a wonderful experience, but in the weeks leading up to it I was not so excited. At the last minute I needed to lead up the Kids Track. It is like a mini camp for the kids of the missionaries to attend while their parents have some training and spiritual guidance before heading out.

Honestly, I was not thrilled to be doing this and especially not thrilled about the time frame. Someone who was going to be heading this up had to cancel at the last minute and there really was no one else who could take this on. With much sighing and grumbling, I sucked it up and took it on. I knew that God would make it what it needed to be as long as I gave it my best shot.

It came together wonderfully, of course. While I was working in the kids track which was for kids over 3, Mary Clare went to the nursery area that was being run by a great lady named Emily. I had to get there pretty early to set up, so Lee took Mary Clare over to the nursery area early to hang out with Emily.

Emily and Andy have been married for about 6 years and have just not been able to conceive. Every day after the camp was over, Lee would tell me how MC did great in the nursery and how all of the caregivers just loved having her there and how Emily loved the special morning time she was having with MC one on one.

Lee saw Andy this Monday night and heard how they are in the middle of paperwork to adopt from China! Adoption was definitely something they were considering, but apparently, meeting and spending time with Mary Clare really sparked them into action to move forward with a China adoption.

I am so grateful that God let me know about this little turn of events. I knew that doing the kids camp was the right thing and that I needed to do it. I just really, REALLY did not want to do it. I know that God uses our choices, our little 'yes Lord I will do this even though I am dreading it!' answers in many ways that we will never even know of, but this time, for some reason, He let me in on one way our presence at this event made an impact.

Next time something comes into my path and my first reaction is a similar sense of dread mixed with duty, I will look back at this and know that my little 'yes' will likely be used in a very big way. In fact my whole attitude about things like this may be changed and maybe I won't even experience the dread. Well maybe not quite as much, I know these things take time!

So, thank you, all of you out there in the world, for all of your 'yesses'. Even though you may never know how they impacted the world, I am positive that many blessings in my life are as a direct result of your answer to serve God in some way that you were not so thrilled about.

Few Words

We celebrated two events in the past two weeks. These are wonderful events that totally stand alone and truly do not need any embellishing blog words from moi, but I feel I must post something to commemorate these special occasions.

my Grandparent's 60th anniversary = amazing, inspirational, wonderful

Jake receiving his First Holy Communion = awesome and humbling

This Date in History

With all of the excitement around here (missions, Easter, seizures etc.) I have been distracted and haven't really reflected on the significance of this month.

It has been over one year now since we landed on U.S. soil and our precious daughter became an American citizen. We arrived home on April 15th 2006. It was the night before Easter.

The next morning, Easter, I woke up feeling pretty rested and full of energy.
When Jojo and Gampy arrived with all of the kids, MC met her brothers and sisters for the first time. It was simply incredible to see them all together on the couch cuddling and cooing at their baby sister. MC handled it very well. She was very solemn and patient and let them fuss all over her. She was curious about them too and her eyes darted from one face to the next. Laine finally was able to do the one thing she had been longing to do ever since she knew she was going to have a baby sister, feed her a bottle!




We headed to Mass where we had to stand in the back because we were late. I remember feeling so happy, as if I was floating on air. I didn't mind standing and holding Mary Clare one bit.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur I admit. I crashed after Mass and even though we went to a family egg hunt I don't remember too much!

I do remember a few nights later sitting in the den with the older boys and Mary Clare. Lee was tucking the twins into bed and Mary Clare was finishing her bottle. We were all squished into a big chair and after her bottle we kissed and played with her and she got the hiccups. It was the first time Jake and Ryan had heard her have the hiccups and they though it was hilarious. They giggled and then slowly Mary Clare smiled and the she hiccuped again and as the boys laughed again she giggled a little too! It was a hiccup-giggle spiral for several minutes.

Many people have asked me, both before Mary Clare was with us and even more recently, "How are the kids adjusting? What do they think about this?" They ask with curiosity and maybe a tiny bit of anxiousness for us. Sometimes it is difficult to adjust to a new family member. This is not the situation with our family however.

She is loved and cherished by all of us. She is also poked at, bugged, knocked down accidently and tickled to the extreme. She is read to and sung to and scolded at just as any other toddler.

Sometimes when I see her with her siblings, rolling around like puppies and chasing each other around the house and so forth, I sigh and shake my head. Sometimes I raise my voice and demand that everyone just Settle Down Immediately. Sometimes I grin and bite my tongue to keep it from calling out the former. Sometimes, some very wonderful and gracefilled times, I also remember the amazing blessing and gift of siblings.

I have one very dear sister and I am so grateful that she is mine! I hope to instill a sense of love and value between my children so that as adults they will honor the unique sibling status. Who else will know exactly what you mean when you recall Dad's goofy jokes and funky smells? Who else will remember the unique twinkle of mom's eye when she is in a teasing mood and the feel of her soft kiss on a boo boo?

Siblings can know you very intimately. The good, the bad and yes the ugly. And if your mom and dad have raised y'all up right they love you anyway! A healthy sibling relationship is an awesome testament and example of the love of Christian brotherhood that Christ desires for us.

Well this got to be much longer than I had intended when I sat down to reflect on our journey as a family. I like where it has taken me though. Thinking on my own happiness and joy at seeing my kiddos grow in love together has renewed my appreciation for sibling loveliness.

Love ya sis!

You never know...

Last week was crazy. We really worked hard and were very busy. Organizing families and youth to go on missions all over the city takes so much logistical planning it makes my brain hurt. Lee had much of the responsibility, but there were at least 30 people all working hard to coordinate this effort. At the last minute, I was needed to help plan the kids camp that children of the families would go to while the parents would come together for prayer and meditation and discussion in the morning before heading out. It was not especially camp-like, more like fancy babysitting :). We did a few crafts and played some games and by the last day I even had fun myself. There were some wonderful 7th grade girls who volunteered to help out and most of them didn't even ask me to sign their service hours sheets!

On Saturday morning, as she was dropping her kids off, I asked one of the moms how their day went on Friday. She smiled and began to tell me three amazing encounters her group had. Her group was in a poorer area of town, walking around and just knocking on doors. One very young woman asked them to come in and see her two month old twin daughters. She was a lapsed Catholic and as the conversation continued she related how lonely and exhausted she was. She asked for their prayers and wanted information on the church and the missionaries were able to pray with her and get her the contact information for some help and support at the parish. They also got her information so the church could follow up with her too. Then this group set out again and walked further into the neighborhood. They came upon some teenage boys playing basketball. They approached these guys and talked awhile. At first the boys were impatient and wary, but soon they opened up and they prayed together and exchanged some information. As the group continued to walk on, a car pulled up beside them and motioned for them to stop and wait. An older gentleman in his 70's perhaps got out of the car with the help of his cane. He emotionally told them how he had been praying everyday for those boys at the basketball court and when he saw them together he was filled with hope and he said, "No one is gonna believe me, but Jesus is here!" He teared up as he was talking with them and asked to pray with them as well.

This experience is only from one group on one day! Mostly, we just said knocked, said hello, talked for a minute and moved on. But every day, at least one of the groups would have an encounter that could only be described as supernatural. I also know that just by going by and saying 'hi' we may have made someone's day. Isn't it nice just to know there are good people out there who really do care about you, just because you are you, a unique human soul? I think it is.

Into Lent

On Fat Tuesday AKA Shrove Tuesday AKA the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, I made a King Cake for the first time and we had a pancake feast for dinner.
The King Cake was a huge hit. It was not too hard to make with the aid of my bread machine and it really was delicious. Mary Clare was climbing out of her seat to get more!

Advent traditions

This is our Advent wreath that is on a table in the living room. This is before I added the pink and purple ribbons to the candles.



This is our North Pole village. My mother in law has maybe 4 sets of different miniature villages like this and she gave us a whole set several years ago. It is a total pain to set up, but the kids really enjoy it. The red stocking is The Jesus Stocking, a new tradition this year

Our Jesse tree sits on our front hall table. Last year I made the ornaments for the first two weeks and then I stopped. This year we will complete the ornaments! We also have a beautiful Advent calender from the Metropolitan Museum of Art sitting on the box that holds the Jesse Tree ornaments.


Another new tradition is our Advent Log. Because our wreath is in the living room, we only light it on Sundays. We have the log in the family room and have been lighting it to say our family prayers at night. Unfortunately, the candles are burning down so fast! I will get some better ones next year.



This is the beginning of our own children's creche. The "Jesus Box" is what Laine calls it! Joesph and a donkey are pictured, and we now have a sheep and 3 wise men too. This week we'll add some more figures.