Tonight we will enjoy viewing the 'Summer Moon Illusion'
We plan to head outside and let our eyes be tricked. I will try to take some pictures to share too. I can't believe I have never heard of this before. Thanks Dawn!
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Hello out there!
I need to take the time to properly say 'Hello' and 'Welcome' to anyone who reads this blog. I do not use a site-meter, so basically the comments section is the only indication I have of who is reading.
Every couple of months I re-think this whole blog thing and wonder if I should pack it up. I question my own intentions and motives in what I write and share with the blogosphere. Obviously, this is not a diary, but I do write about some personal stuff as well as just a daily log on family life. Sometimes I think it is arrogant of me to believe strangers would even care about our beach trip or how we force our kids to be nice. I know many family members read this, but so do other folks, people I know in real life and others I have never meant. Usually, I have no idea how they strolled into the Magnolia Cul-de-sac!
I do love to write though and I think that writing for an 'audience' helps you become a better writer. It is an exercise in clarity. I know and trust that Lee understands what I mean when I mutter around the house about my toothbrush being buried in the Lego box. However, I re-read my blog entries and try to pare down and edit so that hopefully they make sense. Interestingly, my blog seems to encourage clarity in my everyday thought process as well. What a nice side-effect!
Anyhow, welcome to my blog and thank you for reading.
Every couple of months I re-think this whole blog thing and wonder if I should pack it up. I question my own intentions and motives in what I write and share with the blogosphere. Obviously, this is not a diary, but I do write about some personal stuff as well as just a daily log on family life. Sometimes I think it is arrogant of me to believe strangers would even care about our beach trip or how we force our kids to be nice. I know many family members read this, but so do other folks, people I know in real life and others I have never meant. Usually, I have no idea how they strolled into the Magnolia Cul-de-sac!
I do love to write though and I think that writing for an 'audience' helps you become a better writer. It is an exercise in clarity. I know and trust that Lee understands what I mean when I mutter around the house about my toothbrush being buried in the Lego box. However, I re-read my blog entries and try to pare down and edit so that hopefully they make sense. Interestingly, my blog seems to encourage clarity in my everyday thought process as well. What a nice side-effect!
Anyhow, welcome to my blog and thank you for reading.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sibling Loyalty
People are always commenting to us about how close our children are. Sure, they bicker and glare at each other occasionally like most kids, but overall they are very loyal and loving towards each other. Their love and loyalty is obvious enough for folks to comment on it and ask us about how we get our kids to actually like each other. The short answer is, "We force them!"
Lee and I made a decision to encourage the virtue of sibling loyalty in the kids very early on in our parenting career. We figured not only is it good for the kids, but also, kids who get along well make our lives easier too! Maybe this virtue occurs naturally and easily in some families, but we really put in effort at our home. Many volatile situations arise when you have children very close in age and temperament. Let's face it, most likely after we are dead and gone, they will still have each other. I want them to be able to encourage, support and rely on each other for the rest of their lives.
The main component in our loyalty plan is simply fostering an awareness of the unique and special sibling relationship. We stress to them that brothers and sisters are for life. Friends will come and go, but even best friends will not be as close to you as your siblings. We also consciously foster a sense of family pride and honor. We discuss our goal and purpose as a family and even have a cheesy family song.
In general, we have a low tolerance for bickering and pestering behavior. When we notice someone bugging or speaking rudely to another we intervene as quickly as we can. We give them a *script prompt to help them talk to each other in more kind ways. We get the eye rolls and deep sighs, but they do it and everyone is happier in the end. After they apologise we have them hug or handshake and say 'brothers forever' (with the boys) 'twins are special' (between L and L) and also 'best friends forever' and 'Culloms forever' works well too. It may seem trite to adults, but saying these words while looking at each other in the eyes encourages love and loyalty.
I know this sounds ideal and like we must have stepford kids, but believe me this virtue training is ongoing.
I am the first to explain that they do not always get along perfectly. I have two that are like oil and water and have conflict more than the others. I certainly can't sit back and relax all the time while my kids play serenely in the background, but I can testify to some real results.
I hope these ideas encourage other parents to make a special effort in fostering loyalty among their children.
I am also interested in hearing of ways other families are making sibling loyalty a priority in their homes. So, please comment if you have advice and ideas!
*One of the most helpful tools we have used in fostering this loyalty is how they handle apologies. When someone has done something deliberately and on purpose to hurt or annoy another, a simple "I'm sorry" is not enough. The offender must say some form of, "Please forgive me for X,Y and Z. I really love you and don't want you to be hurt or sad." They must be as specific as possible about what they have done and the offended must say, "Yes, I forgive you." Then they end with the handshake or hug and the special phrase. Of course with friends they don't say all of the sibling stuff, but the basic apology form is the same.
*UPDATE 3/24/2012*
Well I have to say this post is still pretty much ringing true. We've added 2 more kids and kept up the sibling love and loyalty I believe. It's not that we don't have bickering, it's that I still really feel that as a family we still have a strong family bond going on here. I do pray that this continues.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
So much to write about....
Last week we celebrated two wonderful milestones in the Cullom home. June 14th was our 10 year anniversary. I remember writing last year about our 9th and then I blinked and here we are at 10!
We are actually going away this weekend on a secret trip that Lee has planned. I have no idea where we will be. My sis and brother in law are staying here (God bless them!) to be with the kids.
June 15th was Luke and Laine's 5th birthday. Shocking, I know! I will put on a few pics of then and now. Quite a change in my little twinkles.
Also, over the past month or so I have been having an interesting email conversation with my best friend about Catholicism. It has been good for both of us I think. She is Baptist and was pretty stunned when Lee became Catholic and I came back to the Church after being very involved in a non-denominational church. Over the years we have discussed it a bit, but it is hard because passions are high and we value our friendship so much that neither of us wants to alienate the other. Email seems to work well for clarifying without hurting feelings. These conversations have been enlightening and I am trying to decide on a way to share them here. I'll keep you posted if I do this. I need to talk it over with her and see if she is ok with that.
We are actually going away this weekend on a secret trip that Lee has planned. I have no idea where we will be. My sis and brother in law are staying here (God bless them!) to be with the kids.
June 15th was Luke and Laine's 5th birthday. Shocking, I know! I will put on a few pics of then and now. Quite a change in my little twinkles.
Also, over the past month or so I have been having an interesting email conversation with my best friend about Catholicism. It has been good for both of us I think. She is Baptist and was pretty stunned when Lee became Catholic and I came back to the Church after being very involved in a non-denominational church. Over the years we have discussed it a bit, but it is hard because passions are high and we value our friendship so much that neither of us wants to alienate the other. Email seems to work well for clarifying without hurting feelings. These conversations have been enlightening and I am trying to decide on a way to share them here. I'll keep you posted if I do this. I need to talk it over with her and see if she is ok with that.
Monday, June 11, 2007
For sale
The house is officially "For Sale". Lee put the sign up Saturday morning.
Two years ago we moved closer into the city to be more convenient for Lee's commute. He was commuting almost 2 hrs and he also travelled quite a bit. We left a suburban McMansion neighborhood to move to a more urban suburban neighborhood so that we could spend more time together as a family.
I really love this home and the neighborhood. We are on a small cul-de-sac with a giant magnolia tree in the middle. The kids have made some wonderful friends and I love having our church down the street and being close to the grocery store. We are also closer to our parents as well.
So why the move? Well there are several reasons and when we listed "move" and "stay" reasons the moves won out by a slight margin. About 6 months after we moved her, Lee took a job with a small company working from home, no more commute. Over the last 18 months the business has been doing well and Lee has been travelling less.
Homeschooling is wonderful and I hope to continue it for several years, but we want the opportunity to send them to a great private Catholic school if and when they are ready. That school is near where we used to live.
There are a few more reasons to move and several to stay, but once we had it on paper, both of us came to the decision to move. It wasn't an easy one and we are grateful for the last two years we have spent in this home....and with the way the market is, it may be several more before it sells! Hardy har har.I sincerely hope not though
Ironically, our old home is for sale again too. When I saw this I felt like it was a message from God. When we moved here people thought we were sorta nuts for leaving our beautiful new home with the high ceilings and tricked out basement for this older and smaller home. I think people undertsood the motivation though, more family time. Myy assurance that we did the right thing slipped a few times over the last two years, I admit. Now that the old/new home is for sale again, it is like we have a chance to go back and just move right back in, as if the last two years were just a hiccup.
I discussed this with Lee and we both agreed, we wouldn't buy that house again anyway! Living here the past two years has helped us define what we really desire in a home. The last house as fancy as it was, had a rotten yard. It was very large and honestly not very 'homey' if you know what I mean. A great house objectively, just not for us.
Now as we are checking out what is available in that area, we are remembering what we have loved about this home. The level cul-de-sac, the big yard, mature trees and the smallness of the subdivision that leads to a very friendly neighborly atmosphere. I am sure that we can find that again, no matter where we live, now that we know what we are looking for.
I am trying very hard not to obsess over selling this home, but it is hard I tell ya! I just want it over. I am sure you can imagine that trying to keep a home in show mode with 5 kiddos is not a very relaxing way to spend the summer. However, I remember God has a plan and me worrying about stuff will not make anything actually happen (darn!). I know only with prayer and patience will this be played out in the least stressful way. So we have begun praying for our home to sell in a timely manner and also praying for the family that will live here one day. Please join us in this prayer request if you can!
Two years ago we moved closer into the city to be more convenient for Lee's commute. He was commuting almost 2 hrs and he also travelled quite a bit. We left a suburban McMansion neighborhood to move to a more urban suburban neighborhood so that we could spend more time together as a family.
I really love this home and the neighborhood. We are on a small cul-de-sac with a giant magnolia tree in the middle. The kids have made some wonderful friends and I love having our church down the street and being close to the grocery store. We are also closer to our parents as well.
So why the move? Well there are several reasons and when we listed "move" and "stay" reasons the moves won out by a slight margin. About 6 months after we moved her, Lee took a job with a small company working from home, no more commute. Over the last 18 months the business has been doing well and Lee has been travelling less.
Homeschooling is wonderful and I hope to continue it for several years, but we want the opportunity to send them to a great private Catholic school if and when they are ready. That school is near where we used to live.
There are a few more reasons to move and several to stay, but once we had it on paper, both of us came to the decision to move. It wasn't an easy one and we are grateful for the last two years we have spent in this home....and with the way the market is, it may be several more before it sells! Hardy har har.I sincerely hope not though
Ironically, our old home is for sale again too. When I saw this I felt like it was a message from God. When we moved here people thought we were sorta nuts for leaving our beautiful new home with the high ceilings and tricked out basement for this older and smaller home. I think people undertsood the motivation though, more family time. Myy assurance that we did the right thing slipped a few times over the last two years, I admit. Now that the old/new home is for sale again, it is like we have a chance to go back and just move right back in, as if the last two years were just a hiccup.
I discussed this with Lee and we both agreed, we wouldn't buy that house again anyway! Living here the past two years has helped us define what we really desire in a home. The last house as fancy as it was, had a rotten yard. It was very large and honestly not very 'homey' if you know what I mean. A great house objectively, just not for us.
Now as we are checking out what is available in that area, we are remembering what we have loved about this home. The level cul-de-sac, the big yard, mature trees and the smallness of the subdivision that leads to a very friendly neighborly atmosphere. I am sure that we can find that again, no matter where we live, now that we know what we are looking for.
I am trying very hard not to obsess over selling this home, but it is hard I tell ya! I just want it over. I am sure you can imagine that trying to keep a home in show mode with 5 kiddos is not a very relaxing way to spend the summer. However, I remember God has a plan and me worrying about stuff will not make anything actually happen (darn!). I know only with prayer and patience will this be played out in the least stressful way. So we have begun praying for our home to sell in a timely manner and also praying for the family that will live here one day. Please join us in this prayer request if you can!
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Consequences
I just heard a wonderful thing. Remember back in April when Lee and I worked on the Holy Week Missions? It was a wonderful experience, but in the weeks leading up to it I was not so excited. At the last minute I needed to lead up the Kids Track. It is like a mini camp for the kids of the missionaries to attend while their parents have some training and spiritual guidance before heading out.
Honestly, I was not thrilled to be doing this and especially not thrilled about the time frame. Someone who was going to be heading this up had to cancel at the last minute and there really was no one else who could take this on. With much sighing and grumbling, I sucked it up and took it on. I knew that God would make it what it needed to be as long as I gave it my best shot.
It came together wonderfully, of course. While I was working in the kids track which was for kids over 3, Mary Clare went to the nursery area that was being run by a great lady named Emily. I had to get there pretty early to set up, so Lee took Mary Clare over to the nursery area early to hang out with Emily.
Emily and Andy have been married for about 6 years and have just not been able to conceive. Every day after the camp was over, Lee would tell me how MC did great in the nursery and how all of the caregivers just loved having her there and how Emily loved the special morning time she was having with MC one on one.
Lee saw Andy this Monday night and heard how they are in the middle of paperwork to adopt from China! Adoption was definitely something they were considering, but apparently, meeting and spending time with Mary Clare really sparked them into action to move forward with a China adoption.
I am so grateful that God let me know about this little turn of events. I knew that doing the kids camp was the right thing and that I needed to do it. I just really, REALLY did not want to do it. I know that God uses our choices, our little 'yes Lord I will do this even though I am dreading it!' answers in many ways that we will never even know of, but this time, for some reason, He let me in on one way our presence at this event made an impact.
Next time something comes into my path and my first reaction is a similar sense of dread mixed with duty, I will look back at this and know that my little 'yes' will likely be used in a very big way. In fact my whole attitude about things like this may be changed and maybe I won't even experience the dread. Well maybe not quite as much, I know these things take time!
So, thank you, all of you out there in the world, for all of your 'yesses'. Even though you may never know how they impacted the world, I am positive that many blessings in my life are as a direct result of your answer to serve God in some way that you were not so thrilled about.
Honestly, I was not thrilled to be doing this and especially not thrilled about the time frame. Someone who was going to be heading this up had to cancel at the last minute and there really was no one else who could take this on. With much sighing and grumbling, I sucked it up and took it on. I knew that God would make it what it needed to be as long as I gave it my best shot.
It came together wonderfully, of course. While I was working in the kids track which was for kids over 3, Mary Clare went to the nursery area that was being run by a great lady named Emily. I had to get there pretty early to set up, so Lee took Mary Clare over to the nursery area early to hang out with Emily.
Emily and Andy have been married for about 6 years and have just not been able to conceive. Every day after the camp was over, Lee would tell me how MC did great in the nursery and how all of the caregivers just loved having her there and how Emily loved the special morning time she was having with MC one on one.
Lee saw Andy this Monday night and heard how they are in the middle of paperwork to adopt from China! Adoption was definitely something they were considering, but apparently, meeting and spending time with Mary Clare really sparked them into action to move forward with a China adoption.
I am so grateful that God let me know about this little turn of events. I knew that doing the kids camp was the right thing and that I needed to do it. I just really, REALLY did not want to do it. I know that God uses our choices, our little 'yes Lord I will do this even though I am dreading it!' answers in many ways that we will never even know of, but this time, for some reason, He let me in on one way our presence at this event made an impact.
Next time something comes into my path and my first reaction is a similar sense of dread mixed with duty, I will look back at this and know that my little 'yes' will likely be used in a very big way. In fact my whole attitude about things like this may be changed and maybe I won't even experience the dread. Well maybe not quite as much, I know these things take time!
So, thank you, all of you out there in the world, for all of your 'yesses'. Even though you may never know how they impacted the world, I am positive that many blessings in my life are as a direct result of your answer to serve God in some way that you were not so thrilled about.
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