Next Generation

This was taken this summer at Lee's cousin's wedding. The kids include my 4 (the pasty ones) and their cousins. Will and Jack are Paul and Kim's twins. Paul is Lee's cousin and Kim is his wife. Kim was adopted from Korea and has graciously endured my pesty questions about being an interracial adoptee. The beautiful little girl on the bottom step is Isabelle. She is 5 and she is Alicia and Noe's daughter. Alicia is Lee's cousin. Alicia's dad (Lee's uncle) is from Chile and Noe is from Mexico.

On APC lately, race discussions have pretty much dominated the list. When we first decided to adopt, race just was a non-issue. I did talk with Kim and was able to get some insight on being an Asian American adoptee, but she is just one lady, as sweet as she is. Her reaction to the adoption was very positive and so for the next few months the inter-racial aspect of the adoption really was put further on the back burner. I was tucking this thought into the back of my mind; "Hey c'mon, I talked to Kim! She was adopted from Korea and look how great she turned out!" Yeah a kind of cop out I know, but we were pretty busy with the paperchase, then the move etc....

Now with all of this new time to kill waiting for the damn referral I guess I will reluctantly get my head out of my ass. I should start paying more attention to this issue and internally address the realities my daughter might encounter living as a Chinese adoptee. Thanks CCAA, like I need one more thing to obsess over. Great.

I understand that I do need to be more aware(?) of the ding dongs who might think less, or more, about my daughter because she is Chinese. What I am confused about though is exactly what I can actually do. Do I need to sit down with my kids (7,6, 3 and 3) and have a briefing or something on how to handle Racist Jerks who might dis their baby sister? That just doesn't seem authentic to me though. Honestly, I don't want us to become a a very special episode of Family Ties or something.

I think in the reality of our family they will all learn (Baby Smoosh included) to deal with the racism as they see us doing. And we will always talk openly with them when the questions and comments happen. Our social worker mentioned that we are already dealing with being Highly Visible Family and that is certainly a good thing we have going for us as an adoptive family (yay us!). She was referring, of course, to the fact that we have 4 small kids, including a set of the oh so adorable and coveted boy/girl twins.

We hadn't thought of it before, but we do have experience dealing with some highly personal public questions regarding our family status. We get plenty of looks (usually ranging from looks of pity to looks of admiration of which we feel very unworthy. the pity ones of course.) Strangers have asked me intimate details about my sex life and fertility, sometimes in loud and insistent tones. Usually though our encounters with the Curious Strangers are more harmless, just annoying. At times when we are approached by a CS, my wary and jaded older boys break into a set routine with sometimes deadpan delivery.

CS: Say there, what a big family you have.....(pause while we wait for the comic genius)........You must have your hands full!

Jake, answering for Mom: yes sir, full of love.

Ryan: My name is Ryan. I am 6. They are Luke and Lainey. They are twins. They are three years old. That is Jake he is 7. He is the oldest.

Jake: We are not twins. We are 14 months apart.

CS: So are the twins identical?

Ryan: No,man! Luke is a boy!

CS: Are you sure? Cause they look an awful lot alike.

Jake semi discretely rolls his eyes. Ryan not so discretely sighs and looks up at me.

Patient Mother, trying to herd her flock of cats through the crowded parking lot, in the rain: Yes, we are sure. Have a nice day!