Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom pt. 3

This is the third installment of how I unintentionally (at first) became a mom to seven beautiful souls. 

Part 1.

Part 2.

This Tale is not a conversion story precisely, but the story of how and why we became a Catholic family is the catalyst for everything good, holy and true that we have done since. The growth of our family is definitely in that category!  This is just a brief retelling of the amazing things God did for our family that summer the twins were born.

{Jake, me, Ryan at about 20 weeks with twins}

Our new neighbors Mike and Kathy K. were so nice, but so       Catholic!

And talkative.

Many times I'd look out the window before going to get the mail or water the flowers to make sure Mike wasn't outside also.  Sometimes he's just chat and wave, but sometimes he's ask me some pretty uncomfortable questions like "So, do you believe that you can lose your salvation?"

Folks, I was heavily pregnant (I mean HEAVILY!) and I just couldn't deal with this pesky guy and his questions. These were not discussions I wanted to have. I just wanted to get my mail!

I pushed Lee to run interference. Lee is such an open person.  He is a genuine seeker and had no preconceptions about the Catholic Church really. He loved talking with Mike. Honestly, I just tried hard to ignore them both and waited for my babies to be born.

{in the nursery at about 31 weeks}

Just after the twins were born we were at a crossroads in our small group. Several discussions had broken out during our spring Bible study about free will, sin, predestination, holiness and so on. This uneasiness brewing in our group worsened and made me queasy. I thought it was just me being anxious and pregnant, but even after the babies were born the rift in our small group was growing and it was not just our family feeling that.

The church we belonged to, encouraged the small groups to split and re-form and thus to grow after about 18 months to two years. The summer after the twins were born (6/15/02) our group met just a handful of times and then disbanded.

During that summer, Lee had begun to read the pamphlets and books Mike K. had been passing on to him. I would glance at them from time to time, but I tried to ignore them mostly. Then, Lee began to discuss things with me directly. The things we talked about intrigued me, but I knew there must be a catch because I had been raised Catholic and never heard most of this stuff. It was very uncomfortable and humbling to dig around into our faith history and realize I was so ignorant

Finally, I headed to the library for myself. I needed a book I could read and explain all this crazy, silly, Catholic stuff to Lee once and for all from a former insider's perspective. I selected Why Do Catholics Do That? It looked to be a straightforward, thorough, historical account of  well, why do Catholics do all the stuff they do!

{we went to Disney World when the twins were four months-it wasn't actually as nuts as it sounds! We used points from Lee's work travelling and we had a great trip!}

I was blown away. I just love history. I have a BSed in history, but I'd truly never dug into Christian history. It was both fascinating and frightening.

I realized with growing horror that God was calling me to become Catholic! In fact, I vividly remember running up the stairs one evening and finding Lee in our bedroom.

"Honey, I think we're gonna have to become Catholic!" I shrieked.

He was was sitting calmly on the bed reading something and he glanced up at me, "I know. That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

So we made our way into the Church. Many friends were surprised, and alienated also. Family members were happy, shocked and disturbed. This was all around the time the scandals in Boston were all over the news.

Finally though we were home and you know, despite the varied reactions and disruptions, I truly felt at peace again. A peace I hadn't experienced in many years. There are more things to say about this conversion, the foray into RCIA for Lee, trying to attend mass the first few times with the four kids (4 and under), trying to meet other Catholics who were as hyped up for their faith as we were and so on. Maybe someday I can write down those experiences too.

But, back to our kiddos....

Although I entered the Church in solid faith and with full knowledge and total acceptance of Her teachings, even the teachings on sexuality, I had a small secret in my heart.

I was very, very glad I had already had my tubes tied before I came back to the Church.

Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom pt. 2

This is part the second of how I unintentionally ended up with seven kids. To start at the very beginning (a very good place to start- I have to sing that in my Maria vonTrapp voice, do you? ) click here.

Pt.2

So there I was at the ripe old age of 27 having decided that 4 kids for me was quite enough thankyouverymuch. I did have 4 kids under the age of 4 though so it's not like I was slacking.

We had married in the Episcopal church and we ended up having our kids baptized, but we never became members and just before I became pregnant with the twins, we joined a new church that was non-denominational.

The pastor there is an incredible speaker. He is known worldwide and has several books and can be seen on television. Today this church has several campuses where they holographic-ally project him as he gives his sermons. Maybe this is an urban legend, but a friend of a friend tells of one woman who attended a satellite campus for a few weeks before realizing that it wasn't actually him up there on the stage.

When we attended about 10-11 years ago they were just getting started, and by this I mean there was one campus and they only has about 3-4,000 families. So to get people connected, the church sponsored small groups and we joined one to meet some couples we could get together with and discuss our faith and become friends. It really is a great idea and we met some wonderful families.

Our group had about 5 couples and we were all roughly the same age and had small kids. We had just moved to a beautiful, large McMansion home when I was pregnant and so we became the weekly hosts. We would choose a book and we'd all read it and discuss it. We also had a babysitter come and watch the kids and everyone would bring some food for dinner.

It was really great y'all. We'd pray for each other and support each other. I think this is a great model that many Catholic Churches could benefit from.

Anyway, one day after we'd had our group over the night before, I was talking with one of our new neighbors, Mike K. He and his wife were empty nesters and just real friendly. Somehow the topic of what all those people were doing over came up and how they were from our church and all.

And then somehow it came up that I was a lasped Catholic.

And then somehow it came out that Mike K. was a practicing and devout Catholic.

And soon we learned that he was also an amateur Catholic apologist...

{PHFR} + Tales of an Accidental Mega Mom

Well the charger to my fancy camera is still missing. In fact, I think I might have accidentally put it in the Goodwill bin when I was cleaning out my desk. I feel pretty bad about it, but my mom can do one better, she accidentally put our family heirloom handmade baptismal gown in the Goodwill bag when they were moving.

I know!

But after a good cry we were over it and we do have another gown because we needed one when we had the twins baptized, so I just told her we have a new family heirloom now...but I digress.

Also my phone isn't syncing so I can't post any new pictures and therefore I have been inspired to do something a little different today!

I can't tell you how many times I get comments on our family size and how close together in age they all seem.

Truly y'all, all.the.time.

These days the questions don't phase me much. In fact seven kids seems like hardly any kids on some days...except on days when it feels like hundreds!

The real true life story of how we, who never intended to have a 'big' family ended up with seven (so far) blessings is pretty amazing, but also kind of long so I don't really go into detail when folks make those charming little comments...

I would like to tell you though, dear blogosphere.  We always seem to have plenty of time, don't we?

Here goes:

We married on June 14th 1997. I was 22 and my groom was 23. Weren't we adorable little babies?!

{pretty, pretty young!}

I was raised Catholic, Lee agnostic-ish and we ended up getting married in the Episcopal Church because that's where my Mom ended up. I didn't really care and neither did he and my mom did, so that's what happened. 

We knew we wanted to be parents soon. For some paranoid reason I was totally convinced we would have trouble conceiving so of course I became pregnant after we'd been married five months. 

Jake was a darling, easy baby and we thought, hey let's have another! Jake and Ryan are 14 months apart and are best friends.  

When Ryan was nearing two we really wanted to complete our family. You see, when we married I said I wanted 4 kids and Lee said 2 kids, so 3 kids was our compromise.

So cute, so super cute and dumb we were. 

{happy no.1 and no.2}

Imagine then, our shock when the doctor saw Baby A and Baby B on the ultrasound!

Yes, I did think "Ha! I win! I win" :)

Plus Baby B was a girl so that was pretty awesome.

{Ha ha! Twins! Funny!}

And then? Well, I am not one of those ladies that just loooooooves to be pregnant. In fact, I loathe it. I always have morning sickness, terrible, dehydrating sickness that can tend to make me depressed. The twin pregnancy did me in y'all. I was miserable at the end. I had been on bedrest for about 4 weeks with toddler boys at home.

But, even before the very end, we had decided that this pregnancy was it. We were done with four and very happy and thankful. So, when the delivery ended up in a c-section the doctor went ahead and did what I had very explicitly and repeatedly asked him to do over the last nine months. He cut and cauterized my fallopian tubes. 

Yes. I had my tubes tied when I was 27. 

{real, 4 is enough}

Thanks be to God there is more to this story. Much much more, so stay tuned!

We are plan B

I just read a wonderful article that clearly explained my often complicated feelings on adoption. (isn't it great when that happens? when you read something someone else wrote and you think, "Yes! That's exactly it!")

I don't want to repeat it all here, but I'll try to summarise the author and to add my own personal feelings.

God's plan for families is for them to stay together. Period. It disturbs me when people (well meaning) say things like, "God planned for you to be her family all along!" That is simply not the case. I've always known this, but I've had a difficult time explaining it. Yes, God is omniscient and knew we would be together, but sin is never part of His plan. When sin occurs, it occurs despite God's knowledge of it. (see: Adam and Eve...)

No, sin is never part of His plan. Free will is, however.

We are free to toss His beautiful gifts away. The Garden of Eden, our fertility, our families and yes His precious babies.

No, adoption was never part of His plan for families.

And yet, and yet ... I have this precious, beautiful daughter. A chance for a lifetime loving relationship with her and her with us.

It is our own free will that has necessitated this whole plan B (and C and D and so on) stuff. But, thank God for the plan Bs. He is glorified in the plan Bs.

After all, isn't our Saviour part of a plan B too?